You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
