direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
