ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
