I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
