nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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