Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize