shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
