just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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