I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize