im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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