The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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