Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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