just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
