He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This is classic penis vs brain.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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