it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
