how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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