do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
