Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
