I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
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