belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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