you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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