I'm lost and stupid without you.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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