Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
