you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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