when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
