There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
