butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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