youre lurking in front of me
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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