your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
