When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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