i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
