i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
