Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
