I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
