he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
