I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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