farters have to be the big spoon...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
