wrigley field is MILF paradise
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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