Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
