turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
