it was like eating out sand paper
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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