There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
