Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
