Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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