All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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