mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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