Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
