You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
