One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
