The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
