Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
