drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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