I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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