Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
