PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
