Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
