In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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